Nostalgia - a blessing and a curse ♥

 Hello Dear Friends! Happy new week! ♥

Spring has officially sprung around here.  Every tree and bush has buds on it.  Flowers are blooming, grass is green, and the birds can't sing loud enough.  And even though the nights are still a bit chilly, we are certainly past the "hump" and well on our way to warm sunny days.  Horary! Rob has started cleaning up the yard and laying down mulch.  That's a sure sign of the changing season.  

And while I couldn't be happier to kiss winter goodbye, last week I was feeling a bit down.  Ever since Easter I've felt a sort of sadness come over me.  I know much of it has to do with my mom and memories of her, but it's more than that.  

I am a very nostalgic person, and sometimes I tend to go down rabbit holes of longing for the past in ways that really make me sad. I get into a funk and then have to work hard to pull myself out of it.  This is nothing new for me.  It hits me at different times, triggered by I don't know what. But here I am.    

Nostalgia (according to Google) by definition is this: 

Feeling nostalgic means experiencing a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, often triggered by memories of childhood, familiar places, or close relationships. It is a "bittersweet" emotion, blending fondness for happy memories with a slight sadness or longing for times that cannot be relived. 

Google also says: 

• Bittersweet Feeling: It often involves feeling happy about a memory while simultaneously feeling sad that it is over.
• Triggered by Memory: It is usually sparked by sensory triggers like music, smells, old photos, or visiting familiar places.
• Psychological Benefits:
   While sometimes seen as sadness, it actually strengthens personal identity, enhances social connectivity, and provides comfort during times of loneliness or stress.
   

I think that just about sums it up don't you?  I'm sure we've all had this feeling.  Like, if I look at pictures of John as a baby, I feel happy and sad at the same time.  I understand all this.  The hard part for me is to focus on the happy, and not so much on the sad. 

For example...

The other day I was looking at pictures (on this very blog mind you) of the house I used to live in. How happy I was there.  How cozy it was.  The cute twinkle lights I had around the kitchen windows and hanging geraniums I used to have on my deck every summer.  Those things made me happy and now that they are gone, I'm sad.  I will never see that window or have those geraniums ever again. 

NOT to say I'm not happy now, but you get the idea.  

Time goes on and things change.  Family changes.  Friends change.  People get older or pass away and some things just aren't what they used to be. Maybe it's just the passing of time that gets me. I'm getting older and the years are passing at a faster rate.  Looking at a picture I think, that's a time in my life that will never be again.  But I'm still happy it happened. And what happened to that sweater?  I really liked that sweater. See....happy/sad/happy/sad.  It's a blessing and a curse.  

TikTok has been a killer for me.  I keep seeing those aesthetic videos of "what life was like back then" type of stuff. I'm obsessed with watching them, but at the same time they make me so sad (especially the Christmas ones!).  

I watched one this morning...it was all about what shopping malls were like in the 1980's & 90's.  Bustling, lively, and fun! Who didn't spend their weekends at the mall?!  And now they are slowly disappearing.  Some are abandoned. Why do I even care? And why would that make me sad?  And have you heard that QVC has declared bankruptcy?! I've spent the last 40 years watching QVC.  Not that I've even ordered much from it over the years, but I do enjoy watching it, and now it might disappear...just like the malls.  

I was food shopping last week there was a sign posted at the cashier that said no more pennies.  Change will be either rounded up or down the nearest 5 cents.  What is going on?  This is me resisting change and progress.  Is it progress?  Am I over thinking?  I have been very negative lately about a lot of big things and I think it's just spilling over into the little daily things.  

Ok, so maybe I just need more hobbies? Get out more, Danielle.  

Get a grip on reality! I know, I will ♥

Thank you (if you are still reading this!!) for listening to my rant.  I don't even know what this post is?!  I think I just needed to get all of that out and you know what? I do feel better!  Maybe it's not so unusual to be sad for the past and maybe I'm not the only one who gets down about these things.  If you've ever felt this way for no particular reason, then I feel you! :)  

I will end this post with a lovely picture of my hot chocolate I got on Saturday morning when I met my friend Julie at a cozy bakery for a wonderful catch up!  We hadn't seen each other in ages and had the best time talking.  It was great therapy for me.  Her boys and John have been friends since kindergarten, so we've done the whole "growing up" thing together.  It all happened in a blink of my eye.  

So now that I've been writing all this and thinking about it, I realize my nostalgia is a blessing and curse.  Yes, I do get sad when I long for the past and things in my life that are no longer, yet I'm so very happy and grateful that I was able to have those things.  And who know what more there is to come in life.  By the grace of God I pray for blessings.  

This is life.  And it's good ♥

Love you all!  Have a great day! xx

PS I promise you I haven't become unhinged.  I'm hanging on nice and tight.  I'll be back in a day or so more like myself - with lots of Lucy, baked goods, and candles - the usual.  Now I'm off to drink a much needed coffee and get some work done.  Tonight Rob and I will walk the neighborhood after dinner, I'll get into bed with my book and then get a good night's sleep.  I'm really looking forward to that.