Self care during the holiday season ♥

(via pinterest)

Hello Friends! Happy Friday ♥

Well, there's no denying it.  It's that time of year again. As much as I love Thanksgiving and Christmastime, if I'm not careful it can get very stressful.  I always find myself rushing around and feeling envious of others who seem to be enjoying the season more.  Time seems to fly for me, while others are doing something festive and amazing every day...or so it seems. Sometimes too much planning can make things even more chaotic and that's the complete opposite of what I am trying to achieve.  My main goal this year (as it is every year...I keep trying!) is to keep things simple.  Simple gifts, simple décor, simple living. Be present every day. What do we really NEED anyway? Not much.  Except each other.  And maybe some good pie : ) 

Here are 5 things I'm doing this month to keep my stress levels down....♥

Reading and listening to audio books - I've leaned from past mistakes that I have to take time for myself or else I will burn out.  Reading and listening to books it a great way to take me out of a stressful mood.  I love cozying up at night with my book and a cup of tea, and just escaping life for a little while. I also like to put earbuds in, hit play on my audio book, and bake something delicious. Books settle my busy mind and that's so important during holiday time so I don't obsess over every little thing. I just finished "The Couple Next Door" and I really enjoyed it.  Now I'm searching for winter and holiday themed books.  Any recommendations? 

Limit social media - Have you ever looked down at your phone, started scrolling, only to realize that an hour or TWO have passed??  This happens to me more often that I'd like to admit.  As much as I love Instagram (and I do!) because I love connecting with my friends and seeing what wonderful things they are up to, Instagram also has a way of making me feel really bad.  It's so easy to fall into a "comparison trap." Social media tells us what we should be doing, eating, decorating, buying... and so on.  How can I keep up with all that? Especially during the busiest time of the year.  It's exhausting.  Lately I've been leaving my phone in another room at night while I watch TV.  It's shocking how many times I go to reach for it during a commercial or a lull in a show. I want to get out of that habit.  I find I am enjoying my shows even more because I am not distracted. (have you been watching the new season of  The Crown yet? I'm loving it!)  On the flip side, blogging I love.  Reading & writing blogs is so enjoyable and relaxing.  I wish more people would bring back the simple art of blogging instead of searching for instant gratification of social media.  I'm not saying I'm going to abandon it completely, I'm just cutting back a little and it's making a big difference in my mental health. 

Taking walks - Let's be clear about one thing.  I hate exercise.  My husband for example, loves to workout.  That's his self care.  He works out everyday.  Sometimes twice a day.  He's the guy that searches for a gym on vacation so he can workout.  That's him and that's ok.  That's not me.  I do, however, love to walk. Getting outside and breathing in fresh air is an amazing reset for me, especially when I'm stressed.  I like to do it only in the morning (don't ask my why).  I take coffee with me, so let's not call this a power walk by any means, but more like a walking meditation if that makes sense.  I like to go down by the ocean and walk along the shore. I listen to music, a podcast, or my current book.  It reminds me that I don't have to be working, or doing laundry, or cleaning, or taking care of people every second of the day.  Sometimes I can just be alone and enjoy a nice walk by myself.  

Planning ahead - Remember that saying from elementary school "proper preparation prevents poor play"  That's me in a nutshell! One of the most stressful things for me is shopping!  Its the thing I hate most. Not gift giving. Shopping. I hate that all the holiday emphasis is on it.  Once I have all my gifts at home ready to wrap is when I can finally relax.  These days my shopping always starts at home.  Online has made things a lot easier for people like me, however I do sort of miss the the old days of "browsing" at the mall.  That no longer exists for people, which is kind of sad.  There is too much rush around it. Too much aggravation and too much fear.  Added to the fact that the news tells us that there is basically a shortage on everything so we better get stuff NOW.  So far this year I'm doing well.  I said I was going to start shopping early and I actually did. Checking things off a to-do list is one of the most satisfying  things in the world! : ) I remember when I was a kid my Dad would shop for my mother's Christmas gift on Christmas eve! Can you imagine? He did it every year.  He loved it.  It was his little tradition.  Just thinking about being that last minute has me breaking out in hives! The main thing I did for myself in this category this year is I let go of searching for the perfect present.  I've found over the years that people are so grateful no matter what they get.  The pressure to be perfect lies on me.  I'm no longer doing that and shopping with my heart instead.  

Getting more sleep - This is a big one.  During the holidays I always lack sleep.  I stay up late wrapping gifts, baking, writing cards, etc. because "I don't have enough time during the day."  I end up looking and feeling like a zombie.  Not a festive look.  I decided if it, whatever "it" happens to be that day, doesn't get done before bed time, then it's not getting done that day. I cannot sacrifice my sleep.  There will be time tomorrow. Things always have a way of working themselves out and getting done.  I've pushed sleep and getting rest to the top of my priority list over the holiday season.  I think its the most important thing I can do for myself. 

Some honorable mentions....♥

Hallmark Christmas movies, peppermint mocha coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and new makeup are also things that make me happy, relieve stress, and help me enjoy the busy holiday season! 

Thanks for visiting me today and listening to this pep talk to myself as I prepare for the holidays.  I want the bring back the simple days of Christmas.  Bake some cookies, visit some friends, get some rest, and enjoy every lovely minute. 

Have a wonderful weekend friends!  ♥

Stay cozy!!! xoxoxo 

My Biggest Struggle

Tuesday was not a good day for me.   I woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning with that anxious pit in my stomach that I know so well.  It comes and goes in waves.  Tuesday morning it was there in full force.  

What triggered it? Could be anything. Or nothing.  John was not feeling well the day before.  He was running a temperature and I was pretty sure he was going to have to stay home sick on Tuesday.  I was worried about him missing a test.  Was he concerned? No. But I was.  My mom also was not feeling well.  I was hoping she was getting a good nights sleep.  Was she still awake? Should I check? Over the weekend I started thinking about Christmas gifts. Who to buy for and what to buy? Will I have enough time for shopping?  Will they even like what I pick out? The holidays can get stressful that way. Will all the Halloween candy I've been sneaking every night make me fat? Yes, probably. Wish I had a piece right now. 

And so on and so on. And so on...

Stress and anxiety can be brought on by the littlest things.  Little things in my mind that escalate into big things. I am the type of person who worries about everything.  Sometimes I worry so much I make myself ill.  My whole life I've battled stomach aches and headaches as a result of stress.  The good news is now I know that when I'm having a bad moment or a bad day it IS only temporary and it WILL pass.  My Tuesday 4 am experience resulted in many cups of coffee, me pacing around the kitchen for a half hour, consumption of more Halloween candy, and going outside into the freezing cold to take some deep breaths....which actually did help.  John woke up early still not feeling well.  He took the day off from school and I decided to take the day off with him.  I had emotionally drained myself with mindless worries and needed to recharge.  

Unfortunately this is a pattern with me.  I am telling you this because if you also struggle with stress or worries of any kind, just know you are not alone.  It happens to many of us and we all have different ways of coping.  I find comfort in appreciating the little things.  A pair of cozy pajamas, a cup of hot herbal tea with lemon, a steaming hot shower, putting my worries aside and getting lost in a good book or TV show. These ordinary things can take on a whole new meaning if you approach them as therapeutic. Sometimes it takes taking a day off from work and staying home and hibernating before facing the world again.  I find comfort in my family and friends.  Hearing John's laugh, a text from a friend to say hello, watching a Hallmark movie with my mom.  All these things calm my nerves and the wave passes.  

By Wednesday John was back to school feeling better and so was I.  In the back of my mind all my worries are still swirling around.  They are never really gone, but I've pushed them aside for now.  It will be OK.  I will get it all done.  I will find ways to take time for myself.  I will appreciate the little things.  John can make up his test. My mom is doing fine.  She didn't sleep great but she had a nap the next afternoon.  Christmas will come whether I finish my shopping or not.  I've always managed to get it all done and I will this year too.  As for the Halloween candy....well, I should probably lay off the Kit Kat's.

Today I had to run a quick errand at Whole Foods.  I had only a few minutes because from there I was picking John up at school.  As usual I was running late and time was tight. It was very busy and all the customers had seemingly overflowing shopping carts.  I was literally buying one thing.  Oh no.  I'm going to be late picking up John.  Why did I try to squeeze this errand in?...was all that was going through my mind.  Just then a very nice man (who had a full cart!) let me go in front of him.  I was so happy.  He had no idea what a relief that was for me. Little acts of kindness like that can mean to world to someone.  I try to remember that as I go through my days.  Maybe I can help someone like that man helped me today.  He relived my stress and reminded me that there are still nice people in the world.  

If you struggle with worries like I do just remember the wave will pass. You will find something good in your day.  Even if its just something small.  

It will help you get through it. 

Let yourself recharge and tomorrow will be a better day!  

XO